11:50 am .

i hate how my parents are like " GO DO YOUR ESSAY NOW" , when im already doing it :P.
they take things so seirously , and there so controllable .
in this case, its my dad . not my mom , shes moree flexable and understands me much more then my dad . today , he just barged in my room , and started looking through all my stuff .
(at least he didnt do it while i was gone) :P . and then he started to take stuff down my walls .
and im likw wth? he said it doesnt look clean .
and noo , i didnt have dirty stuff on my walls :P
-clean to him is boring , plain , and apparently he doesnt want anything on the walls .
ugh , he annoys me so much . he says he takes care of me . bull shiet.
i think already said this before. but i REALLY mean it now .
hes starting to bug the shiet out of me . like seirously.
thankfully ,hes out of the house now .
i just really need to get away .
away from him, away from everyone, away from everything .
the only way to help me escape is music .
like seirously , i just close my eyes . and im gone......

life has its ups and downs

woah , so today was an amazingglyy good (: pshh , this is like the firstt time i said that .
hmm , soo todayy school was fun . FINALLYY .

- got new boots YAY .

1st period )-ASb: ehh , it was alrrightt . just sat around and talked :]

2nd period )-P.E : it was the funnest class !today was a free day ; you can choose what you want to do for p.e . You could walk and talk , soccer , or bball . So me , christian , andrew, jonathan, yani, and natilie went for a walkk . We played the question gamee , and i was surprised they were so open about it . haha .

one person said : have you ever had sexual fanticies in church ?
and one answered : why yes , yes i have .
haha sooo funny (:

*and if you dont know what the question game is sucks for you :D

3rd period )-science: boring , but got to eat candy and marshmellows in the end :D

4th period)-math : boringg too . didnt really do anything actually . time went by fasttt though .

Lunch) had a hotdog for lunch :D lol annndd a random dude came up to mee and was like "do you want to go to a club tonght"
*exchanged weird loooks . Lol

5th period) -english: took a testt . anddd finishedd historyy homeeworkk

6th period)- history : very happy in that class becauseeeeeee ms . bell was not here todayy !
thankkk god :D ehhee . had a very nice subsituteee and just did a worksheet .
partnered up with briann and just messed around . (:

after school ) - went home , and then got some food :D and thats it (:

TODAY WAS THE LAST DAYYY OF SCHOOL FOR THIS WEEK :D
YEEEE! tomorrow is gobble gobble dayy :]

right now just bored and talking on the phone with anthony :D
talking about mcdonalds , and turkeys .

tired.

i need to get it together . like seirously . i know i said it before . i still cant do anything . i cant change myself . its too hard . but step by step . 1st . i need to stop going on the computer 24/7 .
second . i need to get my act together . third , i gotta stop being lazy . I go home , cmputer , eat .
doing bad in school lately . C in p.e ! lkee wtfffff. ugh tomorrow the mile . i hateee it . ive been so tireddddd latellyy. ughh . i dont even do anything . :P gotta get up and do something .
i have to get my act upp . i have been slackingg off. time for something different .

49th .

GRRR . tomorrows backwords day!
so that means period 6 is FIRSTT . ):
that means i have tooo go to ms.bell first!
ugh . after school - JHS meeting .
gonna get in trouuuubleeeee. ):
anyways , i hope i can go saturdayy .
well ive been asking and asking . keeps saying noo .
dissappointmennt ! .
but i cant give up noow, gotta keep on trying !
right hoang ?
anyways , i took like a 5 hour napp today .
i hate myself for that. how am i suppose to sleep at night ? :O
WATCH THE FOURTH KIND . ITS CREEPY .
3:33 .

lol i know this is a random post . but oh well (:

48th post .

i feel more tired each day .
I dont know why . i sleep around 10:30
and wake up at 6 30 ish
thats like 8 hours of sleep :P
thats enoughh of sleep . but idkk , im really tired lately.

Im scared of going to school thursday . lol .
i dont want to face ms guns :O .
she has a strong voicee. Lol .
and im scared of her yelling . :P
grrr, well it was my own fault , i made the wrong choice
so i have to face the consequences .


OH and HAPPPPPPYYYY birthday HOANGGG (:
YOUR 15 ! OLD MAN ! (:

green- normal, neutral

Today was normal . Same. The usual .
1 ,3 , 5 . block schedule today and 2,4,6 tomorrow.
because of the writing promt thing .
i do not want to go to school tomorrow .
I have the worst classesss! & i think im going to get in trouble .

tuesday:
p.2 - p.e for like 2 hours :O
p.4- math . bowen ; most boringest teachers ever.
p.6- history . bell ; meanest teacher alive.
after school honor society meeting .


wednesday:
collaboration - THANK GOODNESS!
als / apollos after school.
mabey church (depends)

thursday & friday:
normal schedule
i think were turning in our front of the line passes .
and i dnt have mine . :O
gonna gett in troublee! ):
saturday:
calvins birthday thing .
if not block & church

sunday :
treasure island place thing.

teeehee . right now , i am so full i think im going to K.O. :O .


"They can, because they think they can"

"Do not dwell of the pat , do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment"

grey- sad, hurt.

you know what gets on my nerves most of the time ? My parents. They think they're doing a perfect job with me . & guess what ? there wrong . So many things are going through my mind and they dont even know it . I bet they dont love me as much as they USED TO. They dont have to say it ,i can just tell . They got there own thing now . They dont even take care of me . They only think of themselves. My mom just picks me up from school , drops me home , then goes to who knows where. My dad has absolutely NO TIME for family. Works , Church (5x a week), tennis , comes home, eat, sleep , and then repeat the whole thing again. My brother is 10 years older then me . -.-
He has better things to do then be home , taking care of me :P. Im home alone almost everyday - sometimes night. And they say they always got time for me . bS. I think its time to MAN up and stop depending on others. I have to get my own thing now. I mean, its not like i cant take care of myself........

blue - happy , relaxed

today was really fuunn . went to the block , and went with kelvy , monica, ed, tj , ivan, lorena, juan, ralph and his brother ruben.we went to go see the fourth kind ,and it kinda freaked me out . Lol it was trippy and weird . aha after that we went to carls . and i tried the GREATEST milkshake ever.
Its called the cookie dough shake . it was soooo good. next time anyone goes with me , if you buy me one ill love you forever!! haha (: after that we just went to spencers and mest around, and then to the candy store . haha . then we went home . overall we had a great time , and i hope we can do this again ! (: <3>

yellow- mixed emotions -normal,excited , glooomy

Omg, my 277 pg book .
i started it yesterday at 5 :00 . and read all the way to 10. non stop.
got to pg 150 . went to sleep .
next morning . woke up 6:30 . got ready . ate while reading the book .
got to pg 200 .
block schedule : (per. 1, 3 , 5)
period 1- asb
read half of the time in there.
finished. ACOMPLISHHHEDDDDDDD! yeeeyeeee.
so proud of myselfff . (:

anyways , today was alriceee.
exept TOMORROW we dont have school! .
(: watching the fourth kind .
and thats pretty much my update (:

"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."

"If you are going through hell, keep going."

amber red - busy ; worried

i have so many things to accomplish ! i have only a couple of days . Lets seee heree ,
first , i have to finish my 277 pg book . and i have till friday . im on pg 2 . fail .
second, turn in my honor society hours . turning them in tomorrow.
third , clean up room , do laundry , chores. -tonight.
fourth , study for p.e test. - not sure when the test is.
fifth, study for history test. gotta cram in 2 months of history into 4 days.
if you havent noticed im really bad in history . im the only one that got (F-).
like seirously . what kind of asain am i ?
but im going to after school toturing. (not sure if that will help my grade go up)
if it doesnt im screwed .

and thats all the things i have to do . ugh . sunday bad dayy .
going to lA . no time, to start on the things i want to do.

im so distracted by the computer, and tv .
i have no time to do things anymore .
im trying to cut down my time on the computer.
and hopefully , do better in school .
i just gotta keep on trying and not giveup .

"its not whether you get knocked down , its whether you get up "

black -stressed, overworked .

so you know how i told you i took my history test ? well my results : F - .
69/135 . mabey its cuz karma. or mabey im just dumb.
ugh . this is a total step down .
im going to get kicked out of honors , and a possible chance of asb ?
but i gotta read the rules . if it says i have to maintain a C in a class .
im dead . and the quarters about to end . ugh . FML .
but im gonna HAVE TO change my ways . i gotta stop complaing , and doing nothing about it ,
and cry , cuz thats not gonna help me :P.
My goal : To get better grades .
Im falling back , i dont know why .
but its time to focus more on school . (wow , so lame)
i HAVE to. if not . Im DEAD .
its time to change me . start reading . start doing extra work Kim .
this is so ghey . but whatevrs . if i say ima do it . Then fck yea ,ill do it .
TIME TO WORK HARDER AND MAKE SOME USE OUT OF ME .

" when REAL people fall down in life, they get right back up and keep walking"

"Whether you think you can or wheter you think you cant , your right ."

broken.

im broken . ive been overwhelmed by stress. No one understandds .
My parents esspecially. My dad just makes it worse .
people expect too much from me .
anyways today , was the ASb conference thing .
it's where , we learn new things and suchh .
& we get to skip school , and get back for 6th period .
but i was worried about my history test the whole timee we were there.
& ended up not having a good time .
Going back to 6th period (history) , i got yelled at by MS.bell (pft, no wonder shes not married).
so when the test was finally put in my hands , i didnt know anything .
I think i should just , let everything go .
just not care about sschool anymore .
Cuz right now ,it seems like whatevers.
I currently have a C in history but who cares.
ive learned that friends are bS .
there not going to be there for you .
in the end, the only person you will be trusting ,
is yourself . overall , pretty much hating life rightnow .
FML .




"wheter you think you can or whether you think you can't , your right . "
"If you expect nothing , youre probably going to be surprised . you ' ll get it "
"I dont know the key to success,but the key to failure is trying to please everyone"

im so sick and tired . im so sick and tired of freakin school & life .
fckkk , life is so tiring right now . so stresseed & shiet .
i just want to let it out . i cant hold it in anymoree .
im going to explode . fck you . fck friends .
i just need to relieve it allll out .
i just dont know howw .
i cant really explain the feeling .
all i know is that right now, i dont feel like myself .

note **

i started my NEW softlips chapstick at 12 :26 pm during lunch , sitting on a bench .
near room 20 . november 2 , 2009 .
i know im random . (:

reflecting .comparing .

man , oh man . i wish it was like last year . it was soo fun . i always looked forward to school .
now ; its like i hate school . and it gets boring and boring each and every day . same routine, everyday . it was like an adventure last year, not expecting anything & things would always just happend . but now , i expect more , more things happening . but nothings happening . i feel so empty . everything is so different . i dont feel right .
i just wish , it could be the same again . but i know it wont be. & it kinda sucks , when i KNOW i cant do anything about it . nothing exciting . if you asked how my day is , my answer would be "it was fine or it was okay or it was alright ." back then if you asked me how my day was i would go on and on and on about it. why is everything so boring nowadays? i dont know about you guys , but i could sure use some excitement in my life right now .

pumpkin day .

yes yesterday , was punkin day . PUMPkin , PUNkin. i like punkin Better ,so im gonna call it that whether you like it or not . haha , so yesterday was alrighttt , it wasnt the BEST , But it wasnt the WORST either. it was in the middle . So , Basically it was a pretty Boring day but the night got better. SO , i went to church 4-6 .
it was not that Bad actually . i feel kinda Bad , my religion doesnt celebrate halloween ... and yea .
anyways , after church i went home got ready . put my nerdy glasses , suspenders, high socks, and all that gooddd stuff (: . so i left to jackies house , we made the rest of the people wait for an hour at walton . haha . after walking around for an hour . i looked at my bag , and there was like 2 candies in there. i looked at the bottom , and there was a freaking hole . haha . so i got 0/zero candy .
and the candy that was in the bag , i ate . so i got none after that .
so later that night , after trick or treating , we all went to vic/victors partyyy .
there was so much people there. and it was good seeing the familiar faces again (;
they all go to santiago , but there were some ppl from grove too and like 5% walton ppl.
but mannn ,, they party hard! there was alcohol , shots, light shows,dj , drugs, blazing it , everything. the dj was pretty good .
it was pretty good ,till the cops came and we had to all goo .
and it was about 11 at that time . and we just all left .
and that was my halloween (: